When I was a kid, my sisters sometimes would call me a snot nosed brat. I’m sure that every now and again, that was totally merited, although I am fairly certain I was a lovely child.

What I didn’t know was that I’d grow up to become a snot nosed adult.  Scuba has turned out to be one of the snottiest, grossest sports I’ve found.  It’s not every sport where you finish up and start taking off your gear, just to have someone tell you,

“Hey Buddy, you got a little snot in your eyebrow there.”

On top of snot, there’s puking through regulators, or “feeding the fish” as it’s sometimes called.  There’s spitting in the mask on your way down, (don’t eat crackers, or drink coffee beforehand).  Then there’s the occasional under your nail fungus (can be completely cleared up with nightly soakings in hydrogen peroxide and antiseptic, like mouthwash).

And staph infections.  Classy, beautiful staph infections that can spread in dive shops like the plague.  Well, the gross dive shops at least. Or maybe it’s just the gross people.

Broken blood vessels in eyes (always remember to equalize your mask!), bloody noses, and do you know what goes on in dry suits? (Diapers). Ear infections.  Mask face for days.

I mean, it makes sense.  But sometimes, I come up to the surface and I’m feeling real good, and it’s kind of embarrassing when someone points out that my whole face is covered in boogers. What’s your grossest situation, Diver?

This post is dedicated to Diver Vicki: I hope you cracked a smile.

Which brings me to a future topic. Funny lookin scuba gear. 🙂