Awkward Fish

Every scuba diver has a favorite fish.  Some divers have a whole bunch (those indecisive, selfish ones….).

So it turns out I’m one of those indecisive, selfish divers with a whole bunch of favorite fish, but they all seem to share one characteristic: They’re super awkward.

If you don’t scuba dive, or haven’t spent a bunch of time in aquariums, you might be wondering how a fish is awkward. It’s not like they go through puberty or have to go to their junior prom with their cousin or anything.  But there are some very goofy things that some fish endure, without actually being sentient.

Here’s a count down of my favorite, awkward fish:

5) Saw Nose Shark.  Can you imagine trying to grow into that nose?? And how many times did he accidentally spear a shark GF on his first date?  It’s like, ouch man.

4) Trumpet Fish: it’s like, “hey guys, I’m a really really really long seahorse, but I somehow think I’m blending in with this background coral”. Wrong. We see you Dummy.

Can you see me? Uh yeah, we see you, abnormally long Seahorse.

3) Flounder. One day, you’re totally normal, just like other fish with one eye on each side of your face, then as you switch from your larval to juvenile stage its like, one eye just moves over to the other and suddenly you’re stuck laying on one side in the sand for the rest of your life.

Oh Peacock flounder, you'll never fly with that attitude.

2) Sheepshead: This guy just looks like he swims around in confusion. His catch phrase would be: “Uh, doiiiiiiiiii”.  Snaggle teeth, protruding forehead, probably played high school football.

This picture speaks for itself. Make no mistake, he has bitten me for what I've said about him.

1)  Juvenile Trunkfish: Since when are swimming peas considered fish??   Their pectoral fins are just way too small! Every time I try to mimic one, I just swim in a stupid little circle.  Give it a try yourself.   Luckily they grow into bigger, less awkward triangle shaped fish with way too small pectoral fins. Haha.

I started out as a swimming pea, now I'm a flamboyant swimming triangle. Nice one.

So Diver, what’s your favorite awkward fish?